IFS Erotic Brain L

Our Erotic Expectations!

This survey is anonymous and confidential (see our privacy statement) and should take approximately 8-12 minutes to complete. The questionnaire has approximately 20 questions that cover your sexual experiences, preferences and interests. Feel free to check it out, knowing that at any point you can discontinue without consequence. If you have any questions about it or comments about it please contact Dr. Zebroff at info@artofconnection.org.

You must be 18 to participate. By completing the survey you are agreeing to participate in furthering our understanding of human sexuality.

* This test works best on a desktop, laptop or tablet.

1. Initials or Email: (Your email address is not required, but handy if you want your results emailed to you)

2. My gender is:

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

3. My sexual orientation is:

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

5. How strong a role did religion play in your household while you were growing up?

6. My relationship status is:

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

7. I have been in my relationship for:

8. I would rate the general satisfaction of my relationship as:

9. Overall, how satisfactory or unsatisfactory is your present sex life?

10. I often feel something is missing from my present sex life.

11. When it comes to how I relate to others:(please mark which of the following you agree with)

Space Cell	No	Sometimes	Yes
I want to merge completely with another person	I want to merge completely with another person: No	I want to merge completely with another person: Sometimes	I want to merge completely with another person: Yes
I find it relatively easy to get close to others	I find it relatively easy to get close to others: No	I find it relatively easy to get close to others: Sometimes	I find it relatively easy to get close to others: Yes
Often, love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being	Often, love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being: No	Often, love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being: Sometimes	Often, love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being: Yes

12. Compared to other people of your age and gender, how would you rate your desire to behave sexually with a partner?
(0 = Much less desire --- 8= Much more desire)

13. Think back over all your sexual encounters with other people. Allow your mind to focus on two specific encounters that were among the most arousing of your entire life. Describe each of them in as as much detail as you wish.

14. Choose the one that stands out to you. What do you think made this encounter so exciting?
(It wouldn't have been the same without it)

15. How much of each element do you think made this encounter so exciting?

Space Cell	Not exciting	A little exciting	Somewhat exciting	Very exciting	Extremely exciting
how I could be innocent,or a "good" girl/boy	how I could be innocent,or a "good" girl/boy: Not exciting	how I could be innocent,or a "good" girl/boy: A little exciting	how I could be innocent,or a "good" girl/boy: Somewhat exciting	how I could be innocent,or a "good" girl/boy: Very exciting	how I could be innocent,or a "good" girl/boy: Extremely exciting
how I could be a "bad" girl/boy	how I could be a "bad" girl/boy: Not exciting	how I could be a "bad" girl/boy: A little exciting	how I could be a "bad" girl/boy: Somewhat exciting	how I could be a "bad" girl/boy: Very exciting	how I could be a "bad" girl/boy: Extremely exciting
how I could engage in what is taboo, risky or forbidden	how I could engage in what is taboo, risky or forbidden: Not exciting	how I could engage in what is taboo, risky or forbidden: A little exciting	how I could engage in what is taboo, risky or forbidden: Somewhat exciting	how I could engage in what is taboo, risky or forbidden: Very exciting	how I could engage in what is taboo, risky or forbidden: Extremely exciting
how I could engage in what felt known or secure	how I could engage in what felt known or secure: Not exciting	how I could engage in what felt known or secure: A little exciting	how I could engage in what felt known or secure: Somewhat exciting	how I could engage in what felt known or secure: Very exciting	how I could engage in what felt known or secure: Extremely exciting
how I felt "in charge" and powerful	how I felt "in charge" and powerful: Not exciting	how I felt "in charge" and powerful: A little exciting	how I felt "in charge" and powerful: Somewhat exciting	how I felt "in charge" and powerful: Very exciting	how I felt "in charge" and powerful: Extremely exciting
how I could let go and surrender to the experience	how I could let go and surrender to the experience: Not exciting	how I could let go and surrender to the experience: A little exciting	how I could let go and surrender to the experience: Somewhat exciting	how I could let go and surrender to the experience: Very exciting	how I could let go and surrender to the experience: Extremely exciting
how I was able to yearn for my lover	how I was able to yearn for my lover: Not exciting	how I was able to yearn for my lover: A little exciting	how I was able to yearn for my lover: Somewhat exciting	how I was able to yearn for my lover: Very exciting	how I was able to yearn for my lover: Extremely exciting
how I was able to anticipate an encounter	how I was able to anticipate an encounter: Not exciting	how I was able to anticipate an encounter: A little exciting	how I was able to anticipate an encounter: Somewhat exciting	how I was able to anticipate an encounter: Very exciting	how I was able to anticipate an encounter: Extremely exciting
how close and connected I felt to my lover	how close and connected I felt to my lover: Not exciting	how close and connected I felt to my lover: A little exciting	how close and connected I felt to my lover: Somewhat exciting	how close and connected I felt to my lover: Very exciting	how close and connected I felt to my lover: Extremely exciting
how I could think about and interact with my lover as a whole person	how I could think about and interact with my lover as a whole person: Not exciting	how I could think about and interact with my lover as a whole person: A little exciting	how I could think about and interact with my lover as a whole person: Somewhat exciting	how I could think about and interact with my lover as a whole person: Very exciting	how I could think about and interact with my lover as a whole person: Extremely exciting
how I could focus on a particular body part on myself or my lover	how I could focus on a particular body part on myself or my lover: Not exciting	how I could focus on a particular body part on myself or my lover: A little exciting	how I could focus on a particular body part on myself or my lover: Somewhat exciting	how I could focus on a particular body part on myself or my lover: Very exciting	how I could focus on a particular body part on myself or my lover: Extremely exciting
how I felt free to do my own thing, what really turns me on	how I felt free to do my own thing, what really turns me on: Not exciting	how I felt free to do my own thing, what really turns me on: A little exciting	how I felt free to do my own thing, what really turns me on: Somewhat exciting	how I felt free to do my own thing, what really turns me on: Very exciting	how I felt free to do my own thing, what really turns me on: Extremely exciting
how I could please my lover	how I could please my lover: Not exciting	how I could please my lover: A little exciting	how I could please my lover: Somewhat exciting	how I could please my lover: Very exciting	how I could please my lover: Extremely exciting

16. Think of a time when sex didn't go well, when something went 'wrong' during sex. I thought or felt:

17. Think of a time when sex with your partner was not as satisfying as your peak experience, which of the following did you think/feel at the time?

Space Cell	not at all	a little bit	a medium amount	quite a bit	a lot
I felt angry	I felt angry: not at all	I felt angry: a little bit	I felt angry: a medium amount	I felt angry: quite a bit	I felt angry: a lot
I felt anxious	I felt anxious: not at all	I felt anxious: a little bit	I felt anxious: a medium amount	I felt anxious: quite a bit	I felt anxious: a lot
I felt embarrassed	I felt embarrassed: not at all	I felt embarrassed: a little bit	I felt embarrassed: a medium amount	I felt embarrassed: quite a bit	I felt embarrassed: a lot
I felt disappointment	I felt disappointment : not at all	I felt disappointment : a little bit	I felt disappointment : a medium amount	I felt disappointment : quite a bit	I felt disappointment : a lot
I felt pressured	I felt pressured: not at all	I felt pressured: a little bit	I felt pressured: a medium amount	I felt pressured: quite a bit	I felt pressured: a lot
I felt overwhelmed	I felt overwhelmed: not at all	I felt overwhelmed: a little bit	I felt overwhelmed: a medium amount	I felt overwhelmed: quite a bit	I felt overwhelmed: a lot
I felt frozen	I felt frozen: not at all	I felt frozen: a little bit	I felt frozen: a medium amount	I felt frozen: quite a bit	I felt frozen: a lot
I felt disconnected from my body	I felt disconnected from my body: not at all	I felt disconnected from my body: a little bit	I felt disconnected from my body: a medium amount	I felt disconnected from my body: quite a bit	I felt disconnected from my body: a lot
I felt sad	I felt sad: not at all	I felt sad: a little bit	I felt sad: a medium amount	I felt sad: quite a bit	I felt sad: a lot
I felt lonely	I felt lonely: not at all	I felt lonely: a little bit	I felt lonely: a medium amount	I felt lonely: quite a bit	I felt lonely: a lot
Enter another option	Other: not at all	Other: a little bit	Other: a medium amount	Other: quite a bit	Other: a lot

18. Name 1-2 things that tend to get in the way of your having a more fulfilling and exciting sexual experience with your current partner?

19. Think of your sex life with your partner, which of the following do you tend to think/feel most often in anticipation of having sex with them?

Space Cell	never or almost never	rarely	some times	often	always or almost always
I feel anxious	I feel anxious: never or almost never	I feel anxious: rarely	I feel anxious: some times	I feel anxious: often	I feel anxious: always or almost always
I feel angry	I feel angry: never or almost never	I feel angry: rarely	I feel angry: some times	I feel angry: often	I feel angry: always or almost always
I feel embarrassed	I feel embarrassed: never or almost never	I feel embarrassed: rarely	I feel embarrassed: some times	I feel embarrassed: often	I feel embarrassed: always or almost always
I feel disappointed	I feel disappointed: never or almost never	I feel disappointed: rarely	I feel disappointed: some times	I feel disappointed: often	I feel disappointed: always or almost always
I feel pressured	I feel pressured: never or almost never	I feel pressured: rarely	I feel pressured: some times	I feel pressured: often	I feel pressured: always or almost always
I feel overwhelmed	I feel overwhelmed: never or almost never	I feel overwhelmed: rarely	I feel overwhelmed: some times	I feel overwhelmed: often	I feel overwhelmed: always or almost always
I feel frozen	I feel frozen: never or almost never	I feel frozen: rarely	I feel frozen: some times	I feel frozen: often	I feel frozen: always or almost always
I feel disconnected from my body	I feel disconnected from my body: never or almost never	I feel disconnected from my body: rarely	I feel disconnected from my body: some times	I feel disconnected from my body: often	I feel disconnected from my body: always or almost always
My mind goes blank	My mind goes blank: never or almost never	My mind goes blank: rarely	My mind goes blank: some times	My mind goes blank: often	My mind goes blank: always or almost always
Enter another option	Other: never or almost never	Other: rarely	Other: some times	Other: often	Other: always or almost always

20. If I think about sex with my partner, the worries that distract me the most from enjoying the moment are:

Space Cell	never or almost never	rarely	some times	often	always or almost always
I might lose control of my body	I might lose control of my body: never or almost never	I might lose control of my body: rarely	I might lose control of my body: some times	I might lose control of my body: often	I might lose control of my body: always or almost always
I might lose control of my emotions	I might lose control of my emotions: never or almost never	I might lose control of my emotions: rarely	I might lose control of my emotions: some times	I might lose control of my emotions: often	I might lose control of my emotions: always or almost always
I might be considered bad or wrong	I might be considered bad or wrong: never or almost never	I might be considered bad or wrong: rarely	I might be considered bad or wrong: some times	I might be considered bad or wrong: often	I might be considered bad or wrong: always or almost always
I may feel pain or be hurt physically	I may feel pain or be hurt physically: never or almost never	I may feel pain or be hurt physically: rarely	I may feel pain or be hurt physically: some times	I may feel pain or be hurt physically: often	I may feel pain or be hurt physically: always or almost always
I may feel hurt emotionally	I may feel hurt emotionally: never or almost never	I may feel hurt emotionally: rarely	I may feel hurt emotionally: some times	I may feel hurt emotionally: often	I may feel hurt emotionally: always or almost always
I might feel lonely or disconnected	I might feel lonely or disconnected: never or almost never	I might feel lonely or disconnected: rarely	I might feel lonely or disconnected: some times	I might feel lonely or disconnected: often	I might feel lonely or disconnected: always or almost always
I might not get aroused	I might not get aroused: never or almost never	I might not get aroused: rarely	I might not get aroused: some times	I might not get aroused: often	I might not get aroused: always or almost always
I may not reach orgasm	I may not reach orgasm: never or almost never	I may not reach orgasm: rarely	I may not reach orgasm: some times	I may not reach orgasm: often	I may not reach orgasm: always or almost always

21.

The approach I use to get the most out of a sexual experience is:

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

22. There are certain things I would like sexually, but I won't try for them because:

23. How would you prefer a lover approach you for sex? I get most turned-on if my lover: *This question is required.Think about how you start getting aroused --- transitioning from your day-to-day reality toward your erotic-reality. How would you like your partner to approach you. If you do not have a partner, imagine the best scenario for you.

Space Cell	Not sexy	A little sexy	Somewhat sexy	Very sexy	Extremely sexy
'Takes charge' of the situation	'Takes charge' of the situation: Not sexy	'Takes charge' of the situation: A little sexy	'Takes charge' of the situation: Somewhat sexy	'Takes charge' of the situation: Very sexy	'Takes charge' of the situation: Extremely sexy
Surprises me or approaches me from behind	Surprises me or approaches me from behind: Not sexy	Surprises me or approaches me from behind: A little sexy	Surprises me or approaches me from behind: Somewhat sexy	Surprises me or approaches me from behind: Very sexy	Surprises me or approaches me from behind: Extremely sexy
Pushes me against a wall or bed	Pushes me against a wall or bed: Not sexy	Pushes me against a wall or bed: A little sexy	Pushes me against a wall or bed: Somewhat sexy	Pushes me against a wall or bed: Very sexy	Pushes me against a wall or bed: Extremely sexy
Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything)	Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything): Not sexy	Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything): A little sexy	Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything): Somewhat sexy	Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything): Very sexy	Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything): Extremely sexy
Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses	Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses: Not sexy	Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses: A little sexy	Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses: Somewhat sexy	Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses: Very sexy	Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses: Extremely sexy
Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts)	Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts): Not sexy	Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts): A little sexy	Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts): Somewhat sexy	Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts): Very sexy	Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts): Extremely sexy
Is rough or forceful (in play)	Is rough or forceful (in play): Not sexy	Is rough or forceful (in play): A little sexy	Is rough or forceful (in play): Somewhat sexy	Is rough or forceful (in play): Very sexy	Is rough or forceful (in play): Extremely sexy
Kisses or caresses my neck	Kisses or caresses my neck: Not sexy	Kisses or caresses my neck: A little sexy	Kisses or caresses my neck: Somewhat sexy	Kisses or caresses my neck: Very sexy	Kisses or caresses my neck: Extremely sexy
Is urgent or passionate	Is urgent or passionate: Not sexy	Is urgent or passionate: A little sexy	Is urgent or passionate: Somewhat sexy	Is urgent or passionate: Very sexy	Is urgent or passionate: Extremely sexy
Touches me more than usual (is “handsy”)	Touches me more than usual (is “handsy”): Not sexy	Touches me more than usual (is “handsy”): A little sexy	Touches me more than usual (is “handsy”): Somewhat sexy	Touches me more than usual (is “handsy”): Very sexy	Touches me more than usual (is “handsy”): Extremely sexy
Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day	Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day: Not sexy	Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day: A little sexy	Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day: Somewhat sexy	Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day: Very sexy	Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day: Extremely sexy
Arranges a romantic dinner/event	Arranges a romantic dinner/event: Not sexy	Arranges a romantic dinner/event: A little sexy	Arranges a romantic dinner/event: Somewhat sexy	Arranges a romantic dinner/event: Very sexy	Arranges a romantic dinner/event: Extremely sexy
Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together	Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together: Not sexy	Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together: A little sexy	Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together: Somewhat sexy	Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together: Very sexy	Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together: Extremely sexy
Addresses other concerns/worries I might have	Addresses other concerns/worries I might have: Not sexy	Addresses other concerns/worries I might have: A little sexy	Addresses other concerns/worries I might have: Somewhat sexy	Addresses other concerns/worries I might have: Very sexy	Addresses other concerns/worries I might have: Extremely sexy
Sends me or shows me sexy pics	Sends me or shows me sexy pics: Not sexy	Sends me or shows me sexy pics: A little sexy	Sends me or shows me sexy pics: Somewhat sexy	Sends me or shows me sexy pics: Very sexy	Sends me or shows me sexy pics: Extremely sexy
Talks about my favorite taboo or novel sex act	Talks about my favorite taboo or novel sex act: Not sexy	Talks about my favorite taboo or novel sex act: A little sexy	Talks about my favorite taboo or novel sex act: Somewhat sexy	Talks about my favorite taboo or novel sex act: Very sexy	Talks about my favorite taboo or novel sex act: Extremely sexy
Makes me laugh or laughs easily	Makes me laugh or laughs easily: Not sexy	Makes me laugh or laughs easily: A little sexy	Makes me laugh or laughs easily: Somewhat sexy	Makes me laugh or laughs easily: Very sexy	Makes me laugh or laughs easily: Extremely sexy
Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge"	Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge": Not sexy	Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge": A little sexy	Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge": Somewhat sexy	Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge": Very sexy	Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge": Extremely sexy
Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say	Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say: Not sexy	Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say: A little sexy	Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say: Somewhat sexy	Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say: Very sexy	Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say: Extremely sexy
Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin	Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin: Not sexy	Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin: A little sexy	Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin: Somewhat sexy	Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin: Very sexy	Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin: Extremely sexy
I would like to be the one to initiate sex	I would like to be the one to initiate sex: Not sexy	I would like to be the one to initiate sex: A little sexy	I would like to be the one to initiate sex: Somewhat sexy	I would like to be the one to initiate sex: Very sexy	I would like to be the one to initiate sex: Extremely sexy

24. When I think about sex with my current partner, part of me wants more _________________.

25. When I think about sex with my current partner, part of me wants less _________________.