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Being helpful in times of loss

“I’m Jon. I’m a hospital chaplain.”

I’ve introduced myself that way a few thousand times, and I know those words are often scary to hear.

Often, I introduce myself to a family just after a loved one has died.
I visit a room where a tiny child is held close, never having taken a breath. I explain the next steps on impossible paths.

My colleagues do, too. We say things, we offer support, and we hope that we’ve been helpful. We believe that we’ve been helpful.

Humans do that all the time. You and I use words to offer help in really hard times. We do things that we think are helpful.

But are we as helpful as we think? Could we be more helpful, all of us, as we seek to comfort other people?

I have been trying to answer that question for a long time. In addition to being a hospital chaplain at a Level II trauma center, I have a PhD in Rhetorical Theory (communication), have worked in churches and in higher education, and am a senior consultant with Arbor Research Group. I am always looking for the most helpful words.

To learn more about being helpful, I am, with the support of Arbor Research Group, starting a research project called “Being helpful in times of loss.”


This is the initial survey in that project.

This survey is designed to take no more than 10 minutes. But it could be a challenging 10 minutes. We’re going to ask you to think about the death of a loved one, and then remember what was helpful during that time.

If you have a loss that is recent, you don’t have to go on in this survey.

If you aren’t comfortable being reminded about a loss, you don’t have to go on in this survey.

If you don't have the loss of a loved one or friend that stands out, you don't have to go on in this survey. 


If you are comfortable thinking about that loss and able to answer some questions, those answers will be helpful in building a foundation for this project to help us help people navigating this challenging situation.

If you say “No,” you’ll be redirected to a page of grief resources.

If you say “Yes,” we’ll move into the survey.

Thank you. 

Jon Swanson, PhD
SocialMediaChaplain.com
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