Sexual Initiation Scale Short

Fill out this short survey and receive your Sexual Initiation Style immediately!

This survey is anonymous and confidential (see our privacy statement) and should take approximately 8-12 minutes to complete. The questionnaire has approximately 20 questions that cover your sexual initiation preferences and interests. Feel free to check it out, knowing that at any point you can discontinue without consequence. If you have any questions about it or comments about it please contact Dr. Zebroff at info@artofconnection.org.

You must be 18 to participate. By completing the survey you are agreeing to participate in furthering our understanding of human sexuality.

* This test works best on a desktop, laptop or tablet.

1. I define as:

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

2. My sexual orientation is:

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

3. The type of genitals I own is: *This question is required.

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

5. My relationship status is: *This question is required.

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

I have been in my relationship for:

I would rate the general satisfaction of my relationship as:

6. Overall, how satisfactory or unsatisfactory is your present sex life?

Overall, how satisfactory or unsatisfactory do you think your lover would rate your present sex life?

7. How would you rate your current desire for sexual activity? (Interest in engaging in any sexual behavior with another person)

Who initiates sex in your relationship?Sexual initiation is the stage of sex when one person feels like having sex and let's their person know in some what that they are interested in having sex.

8. Think back to the last time you initiated sex with a lover. How did your lover respond to your advances?

9. What was it like for you when they responded that way?
(Describe any thoughts, feelings or sensations you had at that time)

Please rate how frequently you tend to react when you want to have sex but your partner lets you know that they do not?

Space Cell	Almost never or never	Rarely	Sometimes	Often	Very frequently
I express frustration or anger at my partner.	I express frustration or anger at my partner.: Almost never or never	I express frustration or anger at my partner.: Rarely	I express frustration or anger at my partner.: Sometimes	I express frustration or anger at my partner.: Often	I express frustration or anger at my partner.: Very frequently
I attempt to change my partner's mind (e.g. try to tempt or seduce them).	I attempt to change my partner's mind (e.g. try to tempt or seduce them).: Almost never or never	I attempt to change my partner's mind (e.g. try to tempt or seduce them).: Rarely	I attempt to change my partner's mind (e.g. try to tempt or seduce them).: Sometimes	I attempt to change my partner's mind (e.g. try to tempt or seduce them).: Often	I attempt to change my partner's mind (e.g. try to tempt or seduce them).: Very frequently
I am offended/hurt.	I am offended/hurt.: Almost never or never	I am offended/hurt.: Rarely	I am offended/hurt.: Sometimes	I am offended/hurt.: Often	I am offended/hurt.: Very frequently
I am understanding and accepting.	I am understanding and accepting.: Almost never or never	I am understanding and accepting.: Rarely	I am understanding and accepting.: Sometimes	I am understanding and accepting.: Often	I am understanding and accepting.: Very frequently
I take it as an indication that my partner doesn't find me attractive.	I take it as an indication that my partner doesn't find me attractive.: Almost never or never	I take it as an indication that my partner doesn't find me attractive.: Rarely	I take it as an indication that my partner doesn't find me attractive.: Sometimes	I take it as an indication that my partner doesn't find me attractive.: Often	I take it as an indication that my partner doesn't find me attractive.: Very frequently
I try not to express negative emotions.	I try not to express negative emotions.: Almost never or never	I try not to express negative emotions.: Rarely	I try not to express negative emotions.: Sometimes	I try not to express negative emotions.: Often	I try not to express negative emotions.: Very frequently
I act cold towards my partner.	I act cold towards my partner.: Almost never or never	I act cold towards my partner.: Rarely	I act cold towards my partner.: Sometimes	I act cold towards my partner.: Often	I act cold towards my partner.: Very frequently
I ask if there is anything I can do to get my partner in the mood.	I ask if there is anything I can do to get my partner in the mood.: Almost never or never	I ask if there is anything I can do to get my partner in the mood.: Rarely	I ask if there is anything I can do to get my partner in the mood.: Sometimes	I ask if there is anything I can do to get my partner in the mood.: Often	I ask if there is anything I can do to get my partner in the mood.: Very frequently

10. Think back to the last time your partner initiated sex with you. How did you respond to their advances?

11. What was it like for you when they initiated sex that way?
(Describe any thoughts, feelings or sensations you had at that time)

The way(s) my partner currently initiates sex is:

12. I am most likely to "let go" and be my true sexual self with a partner when: Order the items from the following list. First select an item with the spacebar to show a menu of possible ranking positions. Next, click a ranking position to order it in the ranked list. Note the menu will display more ordering options as you add items to the ranked list.

My partner and I are feeling emotionally connected.
My partner is willing to do something for me.
My partner engages with my mind.
My partner's attention is fully on me.
My head is clear of distraction and I know I can be fully present.

13. How would you prefer a lover approach you for sex? I get most turned-on if my lover: *This question is required.Think about how you start getting aroused --- transitioning from your day-to-day reality toward your erotic-reality. How would you like your partner to approach you. If you do not have a partner, imagine the best scenario for you.

Space Cell	Not sexy	A little sexy	Somewhat sexy	Very sexy	Extremely sexy
'Takes charge' of the situation	'Takes charge' of the situation: Not sexy	'Takes charge' of the situation: A little sexy	'Takes charge' of the situation: Somewhat sexy	'Takes charge' of the situation: Very sexy	'Takes charge' of the situation: Extremely sexy
Pushes me against a wall or bed	Pushes me against a wall or bed: Not sexy	Pushes me against a wall or bed: A little sexy	Pushes me against a wall or bed: Somewhat sexy	Pushes me against a wall or bed: Very sexy	Pushes me against a wall or bed: Extremely sexy
Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything)	Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything): Not sexy	Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything): A little sexy	Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything): Somewhat sexy	Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything): Very sexy	Rubs or presses themselves against me (without saying anything): Extremely sexy
Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses	Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses: Not sexy	Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses: A little sexy	Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses: Somewhat sexy	Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses: Very sexy	Gives me deep (tongue), passionate kisses: Extremely sexy
Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts)	Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts): Not sexy	Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts): A little sexy	Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts): Somewhat sexy	Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts): Very sexy	Caresses all parts of my body (including non-sexual parts): Extremely sexy
Is rough or forceful (in play)	Is rough or forceful (in play): Not sexy	Is rough or forceful (in play): A little sexy	Is rough or forceful (in play): Somewhat sexy	Is rough or forceful (in play): Very sexy	Is rough or forceful (in play): Extremely sexy
Kisses or caresses my neck	Kisses or caresses my neck: Not sexy	Kisses or caresses my neck: A little sexy	Kisses or caresses my neck: Somewhat sexy	Kisses or caresses my neck: Very sexy	Kisses or caresses my neck: Extremely sexy
Is urgent or passionate	Is urgent or passionate: Not sexy	Is urgent or passionate: A little sexy	Is urgent or passionate: Somewhat sexy	Is urgent or passionate: Very sexy	Is urgent or passionate: Extremely sexy
Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day	Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day: Not sexy	Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day: A little sexy	Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day: Somewhat sexy	Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day: Very sexy	Spends quality time or connects intimately throughout the day: Extremely sexy
Arranges a romantic dinner/event	Arranges a romantic dinner/event: Not sexy	Arranges a romantic dinner/event: A little sexy	Arranges a romantic dinner/event: Somewhat sexy	Arranges a romantic dinner/event: Very sexy	Arranges a romantic dinner/event: Extremely sexy
Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together	Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together: Not sexy	Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together: A little sexy	Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together: Somewhat sexy	Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together: Very sexy	Describes a particular new sex act we will imagine/do together: Extremely sexy
Sends me or shows me sexy pics	Sends me or shows me sexy pics: Not sexy	Sends me or shows me sexy pics: A little sexy	Sends me or shows me sexy pics: Somewhat sexy	Sends me or shows me sexy pics: Very sexy	Sends me or shows me sexy pics: Extremely sexy
Makes me laugh or laughs easily	Makes me laugh or laughs easily: Not sexy	Makes me laugh or laughs easily: A little sexy	Makes me laugh or laughs easily: Somewhat sexy	Makes me laugh or laughs easily: Very sexy	Makes me laugh or laughs easily: Extremely sexy
Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge"	Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge": Not sexy	Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge": A little sexy	Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge": Somewhat sexy	Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge": Very sexy	Offers themself to me, encouraging me to "take charge": Extremely sexy
Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say	Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say: Not sexy	Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say: A little sexy	Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say: Somewhat sexy	Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say: Very sexy	Acts genuinely interested in what I have to say: Extremely sexy
Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin	Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin: Not sexy	Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin: A little sexy	Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin: Somewhat sexy	Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin: Very sexy	Takes a provocative pose or shows more skin: Extremely sexy
Does something genuinely caring or thoughtful	Does something genuinely caring or thoughtful: Not sexy	Does something genuinely caring or thoughtful: A little sexy	Does something genuinely caring or thoughtful: Somewhat sexy	Does something genuinely caring or thoughtful: Very sexy	Does something genuinely caring or thoughtful: Extremely sexy
Clears time and space to enjoy each other	Clears time and space to enjoy each other: Not sexy	Clears time and space to enjoy each other: A little sexy	Clears time and space to enjoy each other: Somewhat sexy	Clears time and space to enjoy each other: Very sexy	Clears time and space to enjoy each other: Extremely sexy
Engages in an emotional or romantic conversation	Engages in an emotional or romantic conversation: Not sexy	Engages in an emotional or romantic conversation: A little sexy	Engages in an emotional or romantic conversation: Somewhat sexy	Engages in an emotional or romantic conversation: Very sexy	Engages in an emotional or romantic conversation: Extremely sexy
Act submissive or respond to my commands (in play)	Act submissive or respond to my commands (in play): Not sexy	Act submissive or respond to my commands (in play): A little sexy	Act submissive or respond to my commands (in play): Somewhat sexy	Act submissive or respond to my commands (in play): Very sexy	Act submissive or respond to my commands (in play): Extremely sexy
Teases me with seductive language or gestures	Teases me with seductive language or gestures: Not sexy	Teases me with seductive language or gestures: A little sexy	Teases me with seductive language or gestures: Somewhat sexy	Teases me with seductive language or gestures: Very sexy	Teases me with seductive language or gestures: Extremely sexy
Demands that they have me...immediately	Demands that they have me...immediately: Not sexy	Demands that they have me...immediately: A little sexy	Demands that they have me...immediately: Somewhat sexy	Demands that they have me...immediately: Very sexy	Demands that they have me...immediately: Extremely sexy
Undresses me	Undresses me: Not sexy	Undresses me: A little sexy	Undresses me: Somewhat sexy	Undresses me: Very sexy	Undresses me: Extremely sexy
Wakes me up with kisses or sexual touch	Wakes me up with kisses or sexual touch: Not sexy	Wakes me up with kisses or sexual touch: A little sexy	Wakes me up with kisses or sexual touch: Somewhat sexy	Wakes me up with kisses or sexual touch: Very sexy	Wakes me up with kisses or sexual touch: Extremely sexy
Invites me or leads me into the bedroom	Invites me or leads me into the bedroom: Not sexy	Invites me or leads me into the bedroom: A little sexy	Invites me or leads me into the bedroom: Somewhat sexy	Invites me or leads me into the bedroom: Very sexy	Invites me or leads me into the bedroom: Extremely sexy
Touches my back or buttocks	Touches my back or buttocks: Not sexy	Touches my back or buttocks: A little sexy	Touches my back or buttocks: Somewhat sexy	Touches my back or buttocks: Very sexy	Touches my back or buttocks: Extremely sexy
I would like to be the one to initiate sex	I would like to be the one to initiate sex: Not sexy	I would like to be the one to initiate sex: A little sexy	I would like to be the one to initiate sex: Somewhat sexy	I would like to be the one to initiate sex: Very sexy	I would like to be the one to initiate sex: Extremely sexy

14. Think back to a time when sexual initiation worked very well. Describe what about it made it so:

15. How often have you talked to your partner about how you prefer to get turned on or want to be approached for sex?

What stops you from discussing what turns you on or how you would like your partner approach you for sex?

Space Cell	Never	Rarely	Most of the time	All of the time
I would worry my partner would become upset or judgmental.	I would worry my partner would become upset or judgmental.: Never	I would worry my partner would become upset or judgmental.: Rarely	I would worry my partner would become upset or judgmental.: Most of the time	I would worry my partner would become upset or judgmental.: All of the time
I would worry my partner would become uncomfortable.	I would worry my partner would become uncomfortable.: Never	I would worry my partner would become uncomfortable.: Rarely	I would worry my partner would become uncomfortable.: Most of the time	I would worry my partner would become uncomfortable.: All of the time
I would worry my partner would not listen or not be interested.	I would worry my partner would not listen or not be interested.: Never	I would worry my partner would not listen or not be interested.: Rarely	I would worry my partner would not listen or not be interested.: Most of the time	I would worry my partner would not listen or not be interested.: All of the time
I would worry my partner would not act on it. It would be pointless.	I would worry my partner would not act on it. It would be pointless.: Never	I would worry my partner would not act on it. It would be pointless.: Rarely	I would worry my partner would not act on it. It would be pointless.: Most of the time	I would worry my partner would not act on it. It would be pointless.: All of the time
Enter another option	Other: Never	Other: Rarely	Other: Most of the time	Other: All of the time

16.

The approach I use to get the most out of a sexual experience is:

17. The things that turn me on the most to get sex started with my current lover are:

18. The things that turn me on to get sex started with previous lover(s) are:

19. When I think about sex with my current partner, part of me wants more _________________.