Let's Talk About Sex

This survey is anonymous and confidential (see our privacy statement) and should take approximately 6 - 9 minutes to complete. The questionnaire has approximately 23 questions that cover your comfort and frequency of talking about sex. Feel free to check it out, knowing that at any point you can discontinue without consequence. If you have any questions or comments about this survey please contact Dr. Zebroff at info@artofconnection.org.

You must be 18 to participate. By completing the survey you are agreeing to participate in furthering our understanding of human sexuality.

* This test works best on a desktop, laptop or tablet.

1. My gender is: *This question is required.

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

2. My sexual orientation is:

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

4. My relationship status is:

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

5. I have been in my relationship for:

6. I would rate the general satisfaction of my relationship as:

Getting The Sex You Want

6. Overall, how often do you talk to your lover/partner about: *This question is required.

Space Cell	Never	Rarely	Occasionally	Often	Always
What you like or don't like sexually	What you like or don't like sexually: Never	What you like or don't like sexually: Rarely	What you like or don't like sexually: Occasionally	What you like or don't like sexually: Often	What you like or don't like sexually: Always
A sexual issue (when something goes wrong or is awkward sexually)?	A sexual issue (when something goes wrong or is awkward sexually)?: Never	A sexual issue (when something goes wrong or is awkward sexually)?: Rarely	A sexual issue (when something goes wrong or is awkward sexually)?: Occasionally	A sexual issue (when something goes wrong or is awkward sexually)?: Often	A sexual issue (when something goes wrong or is awkward sexually)?: Always

7. Think back to the last time you talked to a partner / lover about your sex life. What environment were you in?

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

8. What was the tone of the last conversation you had with a lover / partner about your sex life? *This question is required.

Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

Partner Communication During Sexual Activity Scale
The following questions ask about your thoughts and feelings concerning sexual activities with a partner and your sexual experiences.

9. How easy or difficult would the following be fore you: *This question is required.

Space Cell	Very difficult	Difficult	Neither easy nor difficult	Easy	Very easy
TELLING my partner (a lover) what to do to stimulate me during intercourse	TELLING my partner (a lover) what to do to stimulate me during intercourse: Very difficult	TELLING my partner (a lover) what to do to stimulate me during intercourse: Difficult	TELLING my partner (a lover) what to do to stimulate me during intercourse: Neither easy nor difficult	TELLING my partner (a lover) what to do to stimulate me during intercourse: Easy	TELLING my partner (a lover) what to do to stimulate me during intercourse: Very easy
SHOWING my partner (a lover) the best way to stimulate me during intercourse	SHOWING my partner (a lover) the best way to stimulate me during intercourse : Very difficult	SHOWING my partner (a lover) the best way to stimulate me during intercourse : Difficult	SHOWING my partner (a lover) the best way to stimulate me during intercourse : Neither easy nor difficult	SHOWING my partner (a lover) the best way to stimulate me during intercourse : Easy	SHOWING my partner (a lover) the best way to stimulate me during intercourse : Very easy
ASKING my partner (a lover) to stimulate me to orgasm during sex	ASKING my partner (a lover) to stimulate me to orgasm during sex: Very difficult	ASKING my partner (a lover) to stimulate me to orgasm during sex: Difficult	ASKING my partner (a lover) to stimulate me to orgasm during sex: Neither easy nor difficult	ASKING my partner (a lover) to stimulate me to orgasm during sex: Easy	ASKING my partner (a lover) to stimulate me to orgasm during sex: Very easy

10. What percentage of the time do you do the following: *This question is required.

Space Cell	0 % of the time	1-25 %	26-50 %	51-75 %	76-99 %	100 % of the time
"Tell" your partner what feels good to you	"Tell" your partner what feels good to you: 0 % of the time	"Tell" your partner what feels good to you: 1-25 %	"Tell" your partner what feels good to you: 26-50 %	"Tell" your partner what feels good to you: 51-75 %	"Tell" your partner what feels good to you: 76-99 %	"Tell" your partner what feels good to you: 100 % of the time
"Show" your partner what feels good to you	"Show" your partner what feels good to you: 0 % of the time	"Show" your partner what feels good to you: 1-25 %	"Show" your partner what feels good to you: 26-50 %	"Show" your partner what feels good to you: 51-75 %	"Show" your partner what feels good to you: 76-99 %	"Show" your partner what feels good to you: 100 % of the time
"Ask" your partner to stimulate you to orgasm	"Ask" your partner to stimulate you to orgasm: 0 % of the time	"Ask" your partner to stimulate you to orgasm: 1-25 %	"Ask" your partner to stimulate you to orgasm: 26-50 %	"Ask" your partner to stimulate you to orgasm: 51-75 %	"Ask" your partner to stimulate you to orgasm: 76-99 %	"Ask" your partner to stimulate you to orgasm: 100 % of the time

Conversation Experiences

11. Overall, who seems to be more hesitant to talk about your sex life?

12. Overall, what is the most likely response from your partner/lover when the topic of your sex life comes up?

Space Cell	All the time	Often	Occasionally	Rarely	Never
My lover does not respond or changes the subject	My lover does not respond or changes the subject: All the time	My lover does not respond or changes the subject: Often	My lover does not respond or changes the subject: Occasionally	My lover does not respond or changes the subject: Rarely	My lover does not respond or changes the subject: Never
I do not respond or change the subject	I do not respond or change the subject: All the time	I do not respond or change the subject: Often	I do not respond or change the subject: Occasionally	I do not respond or change the subject: Rarely	I do not respond or change the subject: Never
My lover lets me know their feelings are hurt	My lover lets me know their feelings are hurt: All the time	My lover lets me know their feelings are hurt: Often	My lover lets me know their feelings are hurt: Occasionally	My lover lets me know their feelings are hurt: Rarely	My lover lets me know their feelings are hurt: Never
I get my feelings hurt	I get my feelings hurt: All the time	I get my feelings hurt: Often	I get my feelings hurt: Occasionally	I get my feelings hurt: Rarely	I get my feelings hurt: Never
We talk, but don't resolve anything	We talk, but don't resolve anything: All the time	We talk, but don't resolve anything: Often	We talk, but don't resolve anything: Occasionally	We talk, but don't resolve anything: Rarely	We talk, but don't resolve anything: Never
We talk, but end up having a fight	We talk, but end up having a fight: All the time	We talk, but end up having a fight: Often	We talk, but end up having a fight: Occasionally	We talk, but end up having a fight: Rarely	We talk, but end up having a fight: Never
My lover complains that I am not very clear	My lover complains that I am not very clear: All the time	My lover complains that I am not very clear: Often	My lover complains that I am not very clear: Occasionally	My lover complains that I am not very clear: Rarely	My lover complains that I am not very clear: Never
My lover is not very clear	My lover is not very clear: All the time	My lover is not very clear: Often	My lover is not very clear: Occasionally	My lover is not very clear: Rarely	My lover is not very clear: Never
My lover changes the subject	My lover changes the subject: All the time	My lover changes the subject: Often	My lover changes the subject: Occasionally	My lover changes the subject: Rarely	My lover changes the subject: Never
I change the subject	I change the subject: All the time	I change the subject: Often	I change the subject: Occasionally	I change the subject: Rarely	I change the subject: Never
I end up looking stupid or weird	I end up looking stupid or weird: All the time	I end up looking stupid or weird: Often	I end up looking stupid or weird: Occasionally	I end up looking stupid or weird: Rarely	I end up looking stupid or weird: Never
My lover blames me	My lover blames me: All the time	My lover blames me: Often	My lover blames me: Occasionally	My lover blames me: Rarely	My lover blames me: Never
I blame my partner	I blame my partner: All the time	I blame my partner: Often	I blame my partner: Occasionally	I blame my partner: Rarely	I blame my partner: Never
We have a decent conversation	We have a decent conversation: All the time	We have a decent conversation: Often	We have a decent conversation: Occasionally	We have a decent conversation: Rarely	We have a decent conversation: Never

13. Barriers to sexual conversations. Describe a time when you talked about your sex life (or tried to) with your lover and it did NOT go well. Describe what happened. What were you talking about? What communication style did you use?

14. DURING SEX the way I let a lover / partner know what I want or need sexually is with:

Verbal requests for more or less stimulation
Verbal instructions with detail
Non-verbal cues of touch (such as guiding their hand)
Non-verbal cues with eye contact
Doing thing "I" like and hoping they will respond in kind
Withholding or getting upset
Encouraging with a compliment
Signalling what I like with moans or groans of pleasure

Signalling what I don't like with lack of movement or response
Signalling what I don't like by moving away or moving into another position.
Describing or pointing out scenes from erotica or porn
Talking dirty
Showing them by stimulating myself
Giving in and hoping it will change on its own
Other - Write In Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.
Showing them by moving their hand/mouth/body to where I need it

15. What is the topic you would most like to discuss in a sexual conversation?Choose your top 3

address a sexual problem (erection, orgasm etc. issue)
introduce a new activity
introduce a sex toy or product
ask for more of a type of stimulation/act
ask for less of a type of stimulation/act
address the frequency you have sex
ask for a different pace of sex (faster/slower)

ask for a different intensity of sex (harder/softer)
address the mood of sex
brainstorm ways to make sex more exciting
opening up (or closing) the relationship
a greater philosophical issue around sex
Other - Write In Please enter an 'other' value for this selection.

16. I often feel something is missing from my present sex life.

17. Overall, how satisfactory or unsatisfactory is your present sex life?

18. Over the last year, how often have you experienced the following:

Space Cell	Almost never/never	Rarely	About 1/2 the time	Often	Almost always/always
Difficulty reaching orgasm (WITH a partner present)	Difficulty reaching orgasm (WITH a partner present): Almost never/never	Difficulty reaching orgasm (WITH a partner present): Rarely	Difficulty reaching orgasm (WITH a partner present): About 1/2 the time	Difficulty reaching orgasm (WITH a partner present): Often	Difficulty reaching orgasm (WITH a partner present): Almost always/always
Getting enough lubrication (women) or maintaining an erection (men) in a sexual moment.	Getting enough lubrication (women) or maintaining an erection (men) in a sexual moment.: Almost never/never	Getting enough lubrication (women) or maintaining an erection (men) in a sexual moment.: Rarely	Getting enough lubrication (women) or maintaining an erection (men) in a sexual moment.: About 1/2 the time	Getting enough lubrication (women) or maintaining an erection (men) in a sexual moment.: Often	Getting enough lubrication (women) or maintaining an erection (men) in a sexual moment.: Almost always/always

19. Over the past 4 weeks, how satisfied were you with your ability to reach orgasm (climax) during sexual activity or intercourse?

20. Over the past 4 weeks, when you had sexual stimulation or intercourse, how difficult was it for you to reach orgasm (climax)?

21. Please indicate your agreement/disagreement with the following items:

Space Cell	Strongly disagree	Disagree	Somewhat disagree	Neutral	Somewhat agree	Agree	Strongly agree
Experiencing sexual problems is a sure sign that a couples is not sexually compatible.	Experiencing sexual problems is a sure sign that a couples is not sexually compatible.: Strongly disagree	Experiencing sexual problems is a sure sign that a couples is not sexually compatible.: Disagree	Experiencing sexual problems is a sure sign that a couples is not sexually compatible.: Somewhat disagree	Experiencing sexual problems is a sure sign that a couples is not sexually compatible.: Neutral	Experiencing sexual problems is a sure sign that a couples is not sexually compatible.: Somewhat agree	Experiencing sexual problems is a sure sign that a couples is not sexually compatible.: Agree	Experiencing sexual problems is a sure sign that a couples is not sexually compatible.: Strongly agree
In order to maintain a good sexual relationship a couple needs to exert time and energy.	In order to maintain a good sexual relationship a couple needs to exert time and energy. : Strongly disagree	In order to maintain a good sexual relationship a couple needs to exert time and energy. : Disagree	In order to maintain a good sexual relationship a couple needs to exert time and energy. : Somewhat disagree	In order to maintain a good sexual relationship a couple needs to exert time and energy. : Neutral	In order to maintain a good sexual relationship a couple needs to exert time and energy. : Somewhat agree	In order to maintain a good sexual relationship a couple needs to exert time and energy. : Agree	In order to maintain a good sexual relationship a couple needs to exert time and energy. : Strongly agree
Working through sexual problems is a sign that a couple has a strong bond.	Working through sexual problems is a sign that a couple has a strong bond.: Strongly disagree	Working through sexual problems is a sign that a couple has a strong bond.: Disagree	Working through sexual problems is a sign that a couple has a strong bond.: Somewhat disagree	Working through sexual problems is a sign that a couple has a strong bond.: Neutral	Working through sexual problems is a sign that a couple has a strong bond.: Somewhat agree	Working through sexual problems is a sign that a couple has a strong bond.: Agree	Working through sexual problems is a sign that a couple has a strong bond.: Strongly agree
A couple is either destined to have a satisfying sex life or they are not.	A couple is either destined to have a satisfying sex life or they are not. : Strongly disagree	A couple is either destined to have a satisfying sex life or they are not. : Disagree	A couple is either destined to have a satisfying sex life or they are not. : Somewhat disagree	A couple is either destined to have a satisfying sex life or they are not. : Neutral	A couple is either destined to have a satisfying sex life or they are not. : Somewhat agree	A couple is either destined to have a satisfying sex life or they are not. : Agree	A couple is either destined to have a satisfying sex life or they are not. : Strongly agree
Communicating about sexual issues can bring partners closer together.	Communicating about sexual issues can bring partners closer together.: Strongly disagree	Communicating about sexual issues can bring partners closer together.: Disagree	Communicating about sexual issues can bring partners closer together.: Somewhat disagree	Communicating about sexual issues can bring partners closer together.: Neutral	Communicating about sexual issues can bring partners closer together.: Somewhat agree	Communicating about sexual issues can bring partners closer together.: Agree	Communicating about sexual issues can bring partners closer together.: Strongly agree
Acknowledging each other's differing sexual interests is important for a couple to enhance their sex life.	Acknowledging each other's differing sexual interests is important for a couple to enhance their sex life. : Strongly disagree	Acknowledging each other's differing sexual interests is important for a couple to enhance their sex life. : Disagree	Acknowledging each other's differing sexual interests is important for a couple to enhance their sex life. : Somewhat disagree	Acknowledging each other's differing sexual interests is important for a couple to enhance their sex life. : Neutral	Acknowledging each other's differing sexual interests is important for a couple to enhance their sex life. : Somewhat agree	Acknowledging each other's differing sexual interests is important for a couple to enhance their sex life. : Agree	Acknowledging each other's differing sexual interests is important for a couple to enhance their sex life. : Strongly agree